For a variety of reasons, this has been one of the most intense, most difficult, most ugly, most enlightening, darkest weeks of my life. And I did not row or even work out for one week because of it. I was consumed.
Today I finally got to go back to rowing, and I was hoping for some relief. I walked into the erg room and burst into tears. And then I sat down on an erg, and the sun blinded me with its light, and I closed my eyes and just prayed for a moment of consolation.
And guess what, my prayer was answered. I found deep consolation, in my friends who let me cry and said "let's just go row really hard", in my coach, who dealt with my obstreperousness very gently, in the workout, which let me forget everthing but one thing, that particular moment. The consolation of one moment is all I needed. I'm still consumed, but in the presence of deep comfort.
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